September is my spiritual birthday. I pretend it's my actual birthday. I set goals and make resolutions. Maybe it's because school starts, and I was always a school person. And I teach.
So as I approach my spiritual birthday, I want to publicly declare that I am better off than I've ever been. I feel healthier, more grounded, less anxious, stronger, more myself. This past few months of talking about my book and exploring the many faces of abandonment issues have made me more self aware-- in a good way. A core component of abandonment issues is not feeling okay, not feeling things are quite right. It's the "when this gets resolved" syndrome. "This" can be a job, a relative's dilemma, relationship, money issues, an illness, whatever.
But this summer I was all over the place, and after all this public outrospection, I get it. In the words of Popeye, I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam. My skin has grown thicker from being out of my comfort zone for five straight months. I've had to talk to strangers and "sell" myself. I've shared details about my life that I never considered public knowledge. I learned stuff I didn't want to learn (tweeting), and I had to do everything without getting to complain about how uncomfortable I was-- because it is all related to what I say I want out of life.
I think what has happened is that I've finally merged my inner and outer lives. Sometimes we hide parts of ourselves. We shrink from our potential in order to stay safe, and we create a "face" for the public-- also to protect ourselves. Without even knowing it, we have subtracted something from both our private and public selves. Once I got the courage to put one shaky foot in front of the other, one day I noticed the footing was firmer.
So this is my advice:
Get the hell out of your comfort zone by accepting yourself as whole right here and now-- warts and all. Do what you can do with what you have. Then go forward like you're the hero of your life-- even if your legs feel like spaghetti and your heart is jello.
Get your copy of Salt in the Sugar Bowl, a novella. Find out why Sophia Sawyer leaves her six children, and how those children fare as they try to live, love, and prosper as if their mother hadn't broken their hearts. Order today at www.mainstreetrag.com