Sunday, January 27, 2013

"To Do" List Overload! An existential crisis...

I slept for 11 hours and awakened feeling like I finally got the sleep I needed. Now it's late on a Sunday afternoon, and tasks loom before me like a mountain to be climbed. I am baffled by the amount of stuff I need to do:
  • send out announcements for my new novella
  • fold baskets of laundry and put it away
  • do more laundry
  • line up readings at local bookstores and libraries
  • prepare dinner
  • locate publishing possibilities for a new story
  • write new material for my new novel (which is HW for my novel writing group)
  • do vigorous lesson planning for my new classes-- while digesting new requirements for Common Core Standards
  • call my mother
There's more, but I'll stop there.

At this moment I am having an existential crisis. . Where is my maid? Where is my publicist? Why do I have so many clothes? Why can't I just rotate five outfits and be done with it all? Why do I have to comb my hair?  Why must I floss my teeth? Why am I trying to do so much in my life-- write a book, teach, eat healthy enough to hopefully live a long life? Why can't I retire like my cousin Betty? Why did I make all those career and lifestyle changes through the years? Why didn't I just stay with AT&T like everybody else?

My mind is reeling like this because all my body wants to do is lie in bed and read. Roll over and stretch like a cat. Usually my inner tyrant prods me forward, and once I'm up, I get some momentum.  But today, even the inner tyrant is on vacation. Maybe it's the wintry temperature, the calm after a frantic start of the new year. Or watching Contraband till 2:30 a.m. after attending a retirement party.  My crisis is almost over.... 

I can feel it. I'm beginning to see clearly.

This is what I will do... make a cup of tea, throw in a load of laundry, call my mother, saute a lot of garlic and throw in baby greens. Lie  on the floor, stretch like a cat and call it yoga.  Make a "To Do" list. Go to bed.
Tomorrow will reveal itself--task by task,  priority by priority.  This, my friends, is what life is all about. You do the best you can on any given day, then go to bed. Sometimes your best seems pretty pitiful. But if you're maxing out most of the time, you know when it's time to put the feet up. And this is definitely such a day for me.

Order my new novella Salt in the Sugar Bowl during the discounted preorder period!


  1. Hi Angie, I can totally identify with what's going on! I usually feel that way after a long period of overextending myself, then allowing my mind to beat me up about what I haven't done yet. What I end up doing is ignoring the mental nonsense and continue vegging out........because I need it! :-)

  2. Wow! I am going through almost the same thing, but today not yesterday. Personally mine is a type of spiritual malnutrition. I need to spend sometime in quiet contemplation and meditation. Feel the need to be renewed.

    P.S Just ordered Salt in the Sugar Bowl ... can't WAIT till it's released.

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