Sunday, December 16, 2012

A personal truth realized about love and relationships

My husband and I entertained last night. We had family and a few old and new friends over to celebrate the season. A few couples that we've known for years were here, and I was reminded of how relationships can grow stronger in an understated and timeless fashion. Over the years I have seen couples go through some things. At times, relationships seem as up in the air as a pair of dice-- with bystanders wondering where it will land. But over time, I am aware of the ebb and flow of couplings-- sometimes they are closer than others, sometimes more or less patient with each other.  And sometimes monkey wrenches are thrown in that upset some crucial parts. But some couplings seem destined to survive the long haul.

More than a decade ago, Rev. Dr. William Barber II (President of the NAACP), married my cousins. I was in the wedding, and I listened to every word because I was about to get married myself. He made the congregation vow to support the couple. It was a specific direction to do what was necessary to lift them up and help sustain their relationship instead of tearing it down, or causing it stress. I now realize how important that is, because when I was a young person, I paid no attention to any such values. And drama could have been my middle name for quite some years. Now I realize how important it is, karma wise, to respect the relationships around us. If we want strong relationships, I believe we have to acknowledge and value the relationships of others.

Being around both youngish and older seasoned couples last night reminded me that love is a courageous act. Love makes a person vulnerable and doubtful.  Committing to love is not for the faint-hearted, or the mindless. It's for those who are strong enough to see beyond the superficial TV love. Because there is always the possibility of pain and sadness, that things can go awry and end up badly. Because each person is still an individual-- even as they are part of a couple. Many would love to remove a loved one's feet, so he or she could not have the mobility to walk his or her own path. But the freedom to be one's own person is part of the joy of living. And it's also part of the joy of love. Because if we respect the relationships of others, and do their love no harm, we become more secure in our own relationships-- meaning we can live and love with more confidence.
Life truly is a mirror. We see ourselves in others. If we are able to see the good and the positive, we are more apt to experience it in our own lives-- because what we notice is often what we expect. I decided today, that I will try to embrace only kind and loving thoughts about the couples that I encounter. I will wish them a peaceful and loving journey. I hate to be all cryptic, but I believe that what I wish for others, I claim for myself.

Heads Up Readers!
My novella, Salt in the Sugar Bowl is now available for preorder from Main Street Rag Publishing Company! Preorder on
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