Sunday, November 3, 2013

Just because I shed a tear doesn't mean I need a hug....

My eyes well up with emotion more these days than they ever have. I've always been a crier. In elementary school, my teacher wrote on my report card: "Angela is a wonderful girl. She cries a bit too easily." I was soooo embarrassed. Recently I've noticed that I can be talking about something that seems inconsequential, but I'll feel my eyes getting hot and moist. I know my nose has turned red (I was called Rudolph during middle school because my nose goes crimson in a heartbeat!).

These are things that have made me well up recently:

1) Thanking my boss for assigning me to the position I wanted this year
2) Speaking to my colleagues about successes that typically difficult students have experienced
3) Telling my friends about the unexpected encounter that unearthed the source of my abandonment issues
4) Telling my daughter how offering a snack to a hysterical student calmed her down in ten seconds (the things we're most emotional about are often about the need for something totally different than we think)
5) Telling students how much they've improved in a specific area (I turn away when I feel my nose getting warm. They'll never see me cry-- except during a touching part of a movie-- when I'm simply showing my humanity)
6) Explaining to my husband how important school is to some students who suffer and act out because of the bad decisions made by their parents
7) Saying "Yes" when a student asks if we could play another round of Scattergories on game day (I soooooo want them to love game time!)

So the tears brim mostly when I am experiencing spontaneous gratitude for being fully engaged in a   lifestyle that fits who I am and incorporates things that I really care about. I am grateful because two decades ago I shed a lot of tears because of things that were not aligned in ways that made me happy.

So if you see a glint in my eye, I'm okay. I'll fight it off. Thank God nobody has picked up on my leaky state and tried to hug me yet, but I have a small fear that some might take it as a weak and needy moment. It isn't. It's just that I'm really feeling good about life right now.

One thing I'm grateful for is the great reception that Salt in the Sugar Bowl has received. This is what some readers have said on Amazon: 
5.0 out of 5 stars
5 star:
4 star:  (0)
3 star:  (0)
2 star:  (0)
1 star:  (0)
Epps has the gift of writing fiction with a truth that makes it real. 
Faylene  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Salt in the Sugar bowl was a really, really great fictionbook. 
Wendy S. Elston Davis  |  1 reviewer made a similar statement
The verisimilitude made me forget the characters werefictitious. 
Evelyn Kelly  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Order your copy today from Main Street Rag:

1 comment:

  1. Dear Angela,
    I love your both sensibilities and your red nose. You are a great heart.


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