I was self-employed for years. I had to give a lot of thought about how to "sell" myself and my products to prospective clients. I was thinking about that today, and remembered how there were times that I was so stressed about meeting certain people that I'd be a wreck up to the moment that I sat in the chair. (That is not healthy!) There is no shortage of books and articles about how to impress and influence people, and reading such things will definitely make us feel like we're preparing ourselves for what we might encounter. And there is certainly a need to dress and act according to the environment we're entering. But there are simple uniforms that we can all wear and little guidelines we can follow for such occasions (like no-gum and cellphones) and be done with that part of it. No stress there.
What I'm talking about is the stress of interacting with a strange personality who will be judging our personality and making a decision about who we are and whether or not we are worthy. I'm talking about the stress that goes into trying to land whatever it is we're trying to land.
Can we really know what a stranger values and favors in another individual? I think not. Everybody is unique-- including a prospective boss, a new man or woman, your finance's parents, a potential client, etc. Trying to adjust or contort ourselves in order to make someone think highly of us is a recipe for throwing off our game.
What do I mean by that? The truth is, the best we have to offer is the confident self; not the shrinking, insecure, I-hope-you-like-me self. What is attractive-- whether in business or in our personal lives, is usually the thoughtful presentation of the best qualities that we have acquired and honed according to our unique experiences.
So when we approach situations that require us to impress someone, maybe we can shift the thinking to the need to show up as the best self that we have to offer. I really believe that we should reflect often about how to develop the gifts and personal traits that we have-- sort of like training for personal olympics. If we have goals and aspirations, we can continually take personal inventories of our strengths and and qualities and keep refining them and sharpening them, so that when opportunities arrive, we are more than prepared to show up as the confident individuals that we have become-- instead of stressing over who we need to be in somebody else's eyes.
Angela Belcher Epps
- Thanks for checking in. We all know life can be EXTREMELY complicated. I blog about recognizing and removing the barriers that sabotage our living well. - Nobody had perfect parents, so we all have issues.- We struggle to keep up with work, personal goals, staying healthy, and all kinds of relationships.- Our minds are busy, and they seem to often work against us.- At the end of many days, we're disappointed about what didn't get done, how we failed, what we should have done.So I blog about increasing personal awareness and finding balance so we can cut ourselves some slack. Let's stay grounded as we move forward in manageable steps. Perspective is everything, and I try to see around the corners so we can leverage what we've already got into more of what we want.Follow me and give me feedback. You inspire me, and I'll try to inspire you.