We're better than this....

We're better than this! read a bumper sticker on a car in front of me. It grabbed me. Made me say, "Yes. We are. I am." Even before I figured out than what? So on New Year's Day, when everybody makes resolutions, that might be a great place to start.

Here are some things I know I'm better than, and I REFUSE to bring them into 2017:

1. I'm better than getting annoyed about things over which I have no control. The other day my friend and I conferred about important things to put on our To Do lists. She offered one for me: "Remember what a good life you have." She's right. So when random things threaten to get on my nerves, I allow myself to focus on one of those wonderful things I have going for me, and move on.
2. I'm better than assuming that I know what's best for other people. When someone complains or commiserates, I can listen, but I must allow them to feel what they feel. Often I try to talk a friend or loved one into feeling better. But I'm reading Marianne Williamson's Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment. She suggests that we make the effort to understand what lessons our pain and distress can teach us instead of trying to escape them. And I agree. So my "fixing" conversations probably get in the way of other people's growth.
3. I'm better than planning poorly. There's no excuse for overcommitting and overfilling my calendar. I'm beyond rushing to accomplish ordinary tasks, sacrificing quality because I procrastinated, or feeling resentment because I said "yes" to something that should have been a "no."
4. I'm better than creating stress for myself. I'm busy, but focused and mellow. (That's the vision I want to hold of myself.) If I think before I speak or move in a direction, then I can cruise most of the time. Because we usually made the choices that led to the stress.

As usual, I come back to the same thing. Take time to know yourself, then honor what you know. Make decisions that feed your soul. You're better than being on automatic with your precious life.

   

Casting the Dark Shadows Aside

Sometimes I think about something from my past that makes me cringe. I imagine most people have similar memories that make them want to cover their eyes and wish they could go back and undo that episode or chapter in their lives. 

When I was in my 30s, I spent a lot of time recovering from my 20s! :>) I had a scroll of regrets that shook my confidence and made me feel less than I should have. I didn't want to send out my stories--didn't want to call attention to myself for fear the past would creep up and bite me in the butt.

Then I realized everybody's got their own stuff. The self-centeredness of youth made me think my mistakes were of interest to anybody else. (Since I'm not a politician.) We all have our less-than-optimal moments: as children, students, lovers, spouses, parents, employees, siblings, and family members. Many of us have had our dark hours and wicked phases. 

Now and then I'll still have a random memory that makes me suck in my breath and wish I could take it back. But this morning I decided to embrace it all. Might be because I'm reading a LOT of good fiction, and good fiction introduces us to characters who show us all sides of their personalities and history. And that's what makes them come alive and makes us root for them.

So I challenge you to reconsider your dark shadows. To let them reside comfortably among the finer moments. To do so is to accept all of you--all parts of yourself. Last year I read Learning to Love Yourself: A guide to becoming centered by Gay Hendricks. It was the first time I'd encountered the notion of immediate acceptance of our flaws and mistakes as they happen. That becomes the way to truly meet your potential. Iyanla Vanzant is a perfect example with her boat load of hardships and a past that could've choked the life out of her.

I realize now that it makes perfect sense to accept it all. I have been a fool many many times, and I'm sure there are many more foolish episodes to come. But the energy spent regretting takes away the positive power from the moment I'm living.

Organic vs. Inorganic

This is a departure from my usual, but life is big and whole, and there are no compartments. Everything informs everything else. And health is a HUGE part of everything-- what's going on in our bodies, how much energy we have, even our emotionalism. There's also lots of speculation and research about how even our food can poison us. I like the idea of eating organic, but organic gets expensive, and I will often grab whatever fruit and vegetable looks good and healthy-- even if it is laden with invisible pesticides.

I ran into this information by Andrew Weil, and found it helpful. I put it on my fridge.

This is what Dr. Andrew Weil had to say about choosing organic in his "Daily Tips" blog:

"I encourage everyone to enjoy these fruits and vegetables in organic or conventionally grown form:

•   Avocados

•   Sweet corn

•   Pineapples

•   Cabbage

•   Sweet peas (frozen)

•   Onions

•   Asparagus

•   Mangoes

•   Papayas

•   Kiwi

•   Eggplant

•   Grapefruit

•   Cantaloupe (domestic)

•   Cauliflower

Sweet potatoes

According to EWG, common growing practices make the crops listed below the most likely to contain higher pesticide residues:

•   Apples

•   Strawberries

•   Grapes

•   Celery

•   Peaches

•   Spinach

•   Sweet bell peppers

•   Nectarines (imported)

•   Cucumbers

•   Cherry tomatoes

•   Snap peas (imported)

•   Potatoes

Plus these which may contain organophosphate insecticides, which EWG characterizes as "highly toxic" and of special concern:

•   Hot peppers

•   Blueberries (domestic)"

So, this takes some of the mystery out of making some organic vs. inorganic choices. I happen to love Dr. Weil. And now, he's saving me money!

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