Why I paint my pinkies red......

I came across this bit of information last week, so I've been painting my pinky nails red: "People who paint their pinky fingernail red are trying to bring attention to the prevalence of violent acts in today’s society committed primarily by men. "By painting their fingernail red, individuals are making a pledge to take a stand against violence, a majority of which is committed by men. One red fingernail is meant to serve as an outward sign of one’s willingness to stand up against and speak out against violence." (http://www.therangernews.com/?q=node/575)

My husband's family friends recently lost a granddaughter and her mother to an angry partner who then killed himself. Several years ago, one of my family friends had a nephew who killed his wife and himself. There are frequent reports of such incidents.

So I want to remind women to acknowledge that these things do happen, and that we have to be mindful about the choices we make. We must think and act in ways that promote safety because we can get off track rather quickly.

Some reminders:

- Be as sane as possible. This is especially applicable when choosing a love interest. If you are over the top, off-the-charts emotionally, and as needy as a newborn, you will have the common sense of a cornish hen. When we don't commit to our own sanity, we don't recognize "crazy" when he or she is sitting on our sofa because our eyes are filled with stardust or some other magical blinding substance that causes us to fall asleep. If we stay as sane as possible, we will know when someone needs to "sell crazy somewhere else" (my favorite Jack Nicholson line). People choose their victims, and the harder you are to victimize, the safer you are.

- Don't confuse being tough with having common sense. Some people feel that because they can argue and stand up for themselves and fight to the finish, they are just fine. The truth is that tough can fall just as fast as gentle can. We need to choose situations that don't require a lot of arguing and fussing and defending. Tough is having the the wisdom to walk away and keep yourself out of harm's way.

- Make self awareness a priority. The best way to keep yourself safe is to choose wisely. Think twice about who you hang out with, where you go, and how you carry yourself. Don't let your guard down when it should be up.

- Don't get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Don't lie to yourself. Admit it when you make excuses for someone's bad behavior because you want to be loved more than anything, you're lonely, or it's been a long time since you had somebody. When you're in a bad relationship, the thing you want more than anything is to get out of it. (Twice in my life I've said, "God if you let me get out of this relationship, I won't do it again!")

- Think like a woman and not like a girl. It's not cute or loving to cross somebody else's boundaries or to have somebody crossing yours. Jealousy, stalking, invading privacy and controlling behaviors are trouble. All those behaviors require healing, insight and self control.  These are the scenarios that lead to those Snapped episodes when supposedly rational women end up in jail, or those Lifetime "true life" episodes about somebody turning up dead.

So I will keep painting my pinky red for a while because I am appalled by all the passive and aggressive violence perpetrated against women in the media and in our society. But I will also keep reminding women to use their inner strength to live as mindfully and as safely as possible.

Anything to add?

Everything isn't for you: honing in on your own energy

I started this blog a couple of years ago because so many people seemed unhappy, stressed, nervous, and generally out of sorts. There's a lot of discontent these days, and there's also a sense of not knowing where to begin to make things better, different, more palatable. Not saying that I've got all my ducks in a row, but the thing about living a reflective life is that I'm always making adjustments to get grounded, back on track, calmer, etc.

So since this is the season of New Year's resolutions, I was reflecting on why stating resolutions seems to be merely a tradition that often falls by the wayside in a few days. These declarations don't ultimately address the underlying tension, stress, and anxiety that make pharmaceutical companies one of the most prosperous industries of our time. I believe this is because we get so much external input that we forget that we should be living from the inside out. I think we have to find ways to manage the amount of input that effects how we live our lives.

• Just spend an hour on the Internet and it is unquestionably clear that there are unlimited options available to us.
• If we're not tuned in to who we are at the core, way too many things seem like good ideas for us. This applies to everything from fashion to spiritual beliefs to diets to how we spend our down time.
• All those options can be major stressors because they are really just pulling us in various directions all day, everyday. Being bombarded with ads and images about what to wear, where to go, what to eat, how to look, can throw us into overload without realizing it. I read an article that referred to an Eastern European model who came to the U.S. and was taken to a superstore. She was so overwhelmed by all the choices that she passed out.
• Going in a number of random directions on a regular basis-- even if it's online, in stores, or in your mind, is wasting your energy and time. It also contributes to the feeling of dissatisfaction because we haven't used our time to do the things that are meaningful to us. 
• One of the strange things about the prevalence of social media is witnessing what others are doing in their lives. If a person isn't grounded in his or her own energy, it can lead to wishing, coveting, envying, comparing and a host of other counterproductive emotional responses. 

I bring all this up because this year I used my energy in some very concrete ways that made a positive difference. I identified the things that enhance my lifestyle and my way of being in the world. I accomplished more than I have in long time. Here's what I learned:

- Buying fancy and elegant things for anything other than occasional special events is a waste of my money. I am most comfortable in cotton, corduroy and flannel. The rest mostly hangs in my closet until it goes out of style.

- I'm not a traveler. I'm quite happy exploring and vacationing in familiar and short distance territory. No need to try and wrap my mind around "If I had the money, I'd go to....." cause really I wouldn't. And if I did, I'd be counting the days till I could go home.

- I'm low brow. There's no getting around it. I don't judge anybody for dropping a few hundred bucks at a five-star restaurant. But the truth is, I'm thrilled with a plate of wings and a glass of cab. Thrilled! And sometimes I get a second order of wings because the first batch was that good.

- A lot of entertainment isn't that entertaining for me. I'm not into plays and the opera, cruises, or elaborate celebrations to commemorate milestones. I'm happiest when I have the option of keeping it simple.

- I need quiet time. If things have been hectic-- whether with work, readings, or family activities, I must choose to stay home alone and regroup.

Acknowledging these things as my sort of baseline for living empowered me. It took a bunch of options off the table. So I offer this as a strategy for starting the new year: Until we figure out our true likes, dislikes, values and preferences, we spend a lot of time desiring things that wouldn't be that satisfying if we had them. Knowing this helps in how we choose our mates, how we spend our money, how we make small and large decisions.

At some point we can stop trying on options and accept some basic facts about ourselves. We can stop chasing fantasies and focus on living according to our truths. In so doing, we find ourselves with more resources and power for engaging in the pursuit of meaningful goals and activities.  

This is entertainment for me!

Who's family, who's the enemy, and how can I tell the difference?

The holidays are a time for family. I spend a lot of time reflecting on family dynamics-- namely what's a "truth", what's an issue, and how I can be the healthiest I can be-- in spite of. I was raised in a pretty liberal fashion, in a rather communal setting. There were lots of complicated relationships. Although my parents' relationship ended when I was very young, my mother remained friends with his siblings and nieces. Because of this, I always had positive feelings about both sides of my family- even though I didn't know the vast majority of my paternal relations.  My favorite uncle is an ex in-law who, in spite of separation from my aunt, always visits us when we are in town; and likewise, we will drop by to see him if time is tight.

My own generation now has its share of complex relationships-- with exes and dramatic pasts and episodes. The kinds of situations where bad blood spills, and lines are drawn, and allegiances are formed. Until recently, I got a muddled, headachy feeling when I tried to sort things out logically. How close can I be to an ex-in law? What's betrayal? Who's off limits? But this year-- after so much introspection and the book talks, and sharing insights with a community of strangers, I have a new level of honesty working within myself. Insights assail me like shooting stars. They are beautiful and unexpected, and they have brought me peace. 

So these are the personal truths that now resonate with me when negotiating the complex family relationships that are so commonplace during these times. They are not for everyone, but they feel like a good fit for me and the culture in which I was raised.

• Marriage does actually make someone a family member. Just because a divorce happens doesn't mean that all the relationships are severed. I have fallen in love with many of my in-laws, and I have been thrown for a loop when things didn't work out. Likewise, many of my relatives love my husband, and if I had issues with him, that wouldn't mean they don't love him any more.
• Little children never know who is the blood relative and who is the relative by marriage. They have to be told who's who-- which says it all. 
• Hearts can open wide enough to include everyone. Over time, I've seen that the happiest families are those that don't adhere to too many rules. My coworker recently went to the wedding of her brother's "baby mama" who was marrying a different man. At the wedding was the bride and her relatives, her new husband and his relatives, the "baby", the baby's father and his relatives.  My coworker travelled 500 miles to be there, and she said it was wonderful, and there was such a sense of family and happiness because the "baby" is surrounded by everybody who loves her. 
• My heart does actually snap shut to exclude those who have been mean-spirited, violent, or harmful to the well-being of others. It's like an intuitive default mechanism. There are deal breakers.
• My mother (I'm amazed by how often I mention her!!!?????) has always modeled acceptance and goodwill. She has only spoken of my father in complimentary terms. She has never exhibited any bitterness of any kind, and she sleeps better than anybody I know.

So when there are difficult family choices to make-- especially during the holiday season, take a minute to find the personal truths that really do rest in your own soul. Don't believe the hype. Don't let the emotions of others guide your thinking, and sit yourself in multiple seats and see life from different perspectives. That's the only way to live an authentic life. And it is only in living an authentic life that we bring peace to our hearts.

Get your copy of my novella Salt in the Sugar Bowl! www.mainstreetrag.com
See the reviews on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Salt-Sugar-Bowl-Angela-Belcher/product-reviews/1599484021/ref=pr_all_summary_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=byRankDescending

"This book will leave you wanting more! ”

Tara  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement

From HATING the holidays to loving them!

What a great Thanksgiving! A few years ago, I HATED the holidays! I had a lot of emotional crap in my psyche that was unresolved, and that kept me from feeling integrated enough to get with this season of what seems like flying by the seat of my pants. Now I finally feel integrated, and I'm thrilled!

What do I mean exactly?

'Twas a time that I didn't see how the aspects of my life worked together. I tried to interpret what folks were feeling and thinking, to anticipate conflicts, to view my own life from the outside looking in, to interpret others' lives from the outside looking in, and so on. With all that mentalizing, I wasn't operating from my own core. Now I'm operating from my core, and I'm aware of certain things:

1) Even though it's sometimes inconvenient, family and traditions are very important to me.
2) There are no aspects of life that are perfect, so if that's what I'm waiting for, get over it.
3) Always know who I'm dealing with so I can stay present and self-supporting-- in spite of.
4) Take some space for myself before I need it-- even if it's just spending a little extra time in the bathroom.
5) I need comfortable clothes.
6) I can't change anybody, so breathe and let people have their own experience.
7) Writing a list and operating from it keeps me functioning and vibrating at a much higher level.
8) I have learned a lot from my mother, and despite any "issues," when I respect her wisdom and importance to our family, I am blissfully aware of being connected to something larger than myself.
9) I have to set the internal and external boundaries that maintain my mental and physical health.

So this is the first holiday in a long while (possibly ever) that all the stars seem aligned. I have surrendered to the notion that all the decisions I've made along the way make perfect sense from the vantage point from which I was operating:

1) When I was wild and crazy in my 20s, I was spending money AND saving money, stretching myself beyond the boundaries of my family and upbringing, and carving out an identity that was all my own. It got pretty ugly at times, but God did I learn a lot!
2) When I became a parent in my 30s, I had enough skills and resources to make dramatic changes in my lifestyle that made for a healthier experience for my daughter and me. I was stressed a LOT, but I'd gained enough courage in my 20s to cut my losses when I needed to and keep moving until I found myself in better places. I used a lot of money and appeared to be a mite unstable, but I had to find my place in the world because it wasn't finding me! I also learned to be self-conscious and conflicted-- because I had taken on the identity of "mother" which meant I was "supposed" to be a particular way.
3) In my forties, I carved out a niche that was so grounded in independence, spiritual practice, and personal study that I seemed to be unearthing all the dross and silt and was loosening stones and rocks that had obscured the deeper truths of my existence. There was a lot of uncertainty, but I learned to live with the "not knowing" long enough to evolve beyond the stuck places. I found myself sort of transformed-- sort of like rebirthing. I lived in the ethers, it seemed-- meditating and chanting and burning frankincense and myrrh, seeking a lasting peace in something more than the world offered externally.
4) And my 50s have granted me the opportunity to integrate all that I've learned on the paths I've travelled. I've finally lived long enough to distinguish between the voices that bring healing or dis-ease. That is a gift! Because people can and do act from agendas that can poison our peace--taking a tender moment and pulverizing it, or introducing their fears into our intentions until we forget where we were headed. So now I know how to keep my own intentions in the center of my life.

So I think I hated the holidays because when I was not strongly grounded and confident about my path, I could lose myself and question my choices, my safety, my sanity when bombarded with the energy of the folks around me! I didn't know how to bring the pieces of myself into the chaotic frenzy of family and expectations and overstimulation.

But today I am absolutely basking in happiness because I recognize the healing of many hurt places within me! I've learned how to ground myself in the things that bring more light into my life-- the thoughts, the people, the rituals. Because this is the life I've been given, that I've chosen, and for which only I am accountable.

I am having my holiday! And I invite you to do the same-- in whatever ways speak to the core of who you are! Make your own list of 1-9, so you can enjoy them on the terms that resonate with you.

...................................................................................................................................................................

Get your copy of my novella Salt in the Sugar Bowl! www.mainstreetrag.com
See the reviews on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Salt-Sugar-Bowl-Angela-Belcher/product-reviews/1599484021/ref=pr_all_summary_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=byRankDescending

Overcoming skittishness

Dogs who are kicked are often skittish. I was not kicked or hit or abused, but my family, God bless 'em, made me skittish because they had an opinion about EVERYTHING!

About things like:
- Don't eat while walking down the street.
- Don't comb your hair on the stoop.
- Don't go outside without combing your hair.
- Don't tell people your business.
- Don't ask questions that open cans of worms-- even if it's your own can, and you want to know what's in it.
- Don't leave the price tag on a gift for fear of being judged as either boastful or cheap.

Such a family can make you feel damned if you do and damned if you don't.  When the people raising you have a lot of shoulds that seem random and come out of nowhere, it makes you an introvert. (Not somebody who doesn't want to be around people. The kind who has to recharge by having some alone time.)

I didn't realize it till recently, but sometimes when I'm having a glorious time in my zone (thinking and cooking and writing and gardening), a nervous feeling runs through me. The peace is gone. My mind starts churning. This is because when you're raised with an onslaught of input, you expect interference. You expect that your zone is going to be infiltrated at any minute. So out of nowhere, my fight or flight response is activated.

I know it's all leftover crap from childhood. It's that feeling that people are watching and waiting to catch me or correct me or remind me or want me to do something else. A lot of shoulds embed the belief that People want me to be other than what I want to be and People want me to do other than what I want to do.

What does it mean?!

In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle shared an interpretation of families that promote a slew of shoulds. "My disapproval of you is intended to make you feel so guilty and uncomfortable that you finally conform to my wishes." This is probably why I have dubbed myself a warrior. Because I always felt I had to antagonize my way down the path of my choosing. I became fiercely independent early on, so I had the right to do what I wanted on my own terms. The Catch-22 is that such a person rarely feels supported. There's an underlying feeling that "they" are still invalidating "me," and that's what makes me a bit skittish. Without even realizing it, I can tighten up-- expecting negative judgment or subtle manipulation. At such times I feel my claws emerging.

Of course our families generally want us to do what they want us to because that's how we humans are. We think our way is the way. I'm guilty of it myself, but I'm getting better at that. Because as reasonable adults with minds of our own, we need to relax into our own way of being, and breathe life into our vision of ourselves. We can't live with the feeling that we're about to be caught doing something wrong when all we're doing is making choices about how to best live our own lives.

How?!

1) Release the emotions associated with other people's reactions to our harmless choices about our own lives.
2) Plant our feet and minds firmly in the activities of our choosing and enjoy the hell out of whatever they are.
3) Be brave enough to accept the consequences of our choices without whining.
4) Allow other people the right to do the same.

How does this get rid of skittishness?!

We can relax when we accept at the core of our very being that there is no right way to do life-- no matter what we've been taught. This applies to relationship choices, career choices, introversion, extroversion, fashion statements, whatever. If we're not hurting anybody, then we should just RELAX.

Acknowledging that I'm the expert when it comes to my wants and preferences and actions is grounding-- the exact opposite of skittish.

Get your copy of my novella Salt in the Sugar Bowl! www.mainstreetrag.com
See the reviews on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Salt-Sugar-Bowl-Angela-Belcher/product-reviews/1599484021/ref=pr_all_summary_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=byRankDescending

Just because I shed a tear doesn't mean I need a hug....

My eyes well up with emotion more these days than they ever have. I've always been a crier. In elementary school, my teacher wrote on my report card: "Angela is a wonderful girl. She cries a bit too easily." I was soooo embarrassed. Recently I've noticed that I can be talking about something that seems inconsequential, but I'll feel my eyes getting hot and moist. I know my nose has turned red (I was called Rudolph during middle school because my nose goes crimson in a heartbeat!).

These are things that have made me well up recently:

1) Thanking my boss for assigning me to the position I wanted this year
2) Speaking to my colleagues about successes that typically difficult students have experienced
3) Telling my friends about the unexpected encounter that unearthed the source of my abandonment issues
4) Telling my daughter how offering a snack to a hysterical student calmed her down in ten seconds (the things we're most emotional about are often about the need for something totally different than we think)
5) Telling students how much they've improved in a specific area (I turn away when I feel my nose getting warm. They'll never see me cry-- except during a touching part of a movie-- when I'm simply showing my humanity)
6) Explaining to my husband how important school is to some students who suffer and act out because of the bad decisions made by their parents
7) Saying "Yes" when a student asks if we could play another round of Scattergories on game day (I soooooo want them to love game time!)

So the tears brim mostly when I am experiencing spontaneous gratitude for being fully engaged in a   lifestyle that fits who I am and incorporates things that I really care about. I am grateful because two decades ago I shed a lot of tears because of things that were not aligned in ways that made me happy.

So if you see a glint in my eye, I'm okay. I'll fight it off. Thank God nobody has picked up on my leaky state and tried to hug me yet, but I have a small fear that some might take it as a weak and needy moment. It isn't. It's just that I'm really feeling good about life right now.


One thing I'm grateful for is the great reception that Salt in the Sugar Bowl has received. This is what some readers have said on Amazon: 

5.0 out of 5 stars 5 star:  (5) 4 star:    (0) 3 star:    (0) 2 star:    (0) 1 star:    (0)       See all 5 reviews “ Epps has the gift of writing fiction with a truth that makes it real. ” Faylene  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement “ Salt in the Sugar bowl was a really, really great fictionbook. ” Wendy S. Elston Davis  |  1 reviewer made a similar statement “ The verisimilitude made me forget the characters werefictitious. ” Evelyn Kelly  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement

Order your copy today from Main Street Rag: http://www.mainstreetrag.com/store/MSRFiction.php

Live from the inside out, and not vice versa

A few months ago, a man asked me what it was like to be a writer and an academic married to a blue collar worker. I simply said, "I'm pretty blue collar myself." The colleague sitting next to me couldn't get over it. "Huh?" he said. "He can't be for real."

I laughed at the man's query because he obviously didn't know ME at all, and he made all kinds of faulty assumptions that showed how brainwashed he happens to be. Because we are not our jobs. If we are truly humans "being" in a variety of situations that we choose based on what resonates with our unique souls, then face it-- jobs will come and go. I think if we understand that, a lot of anxiety begins to roll off our backs-- because then we begin to live our lives based on something other than the status quo.

Some people have a tendency to paint themselves into boxes and corners that sometimes run counter to fully expressing who they are at the core. Then they wonder why they aren't happy, or why their kids aren't happy, or why life has so little meaning after working so hard for the things and accolades and positions.

The truth, as I see it, is that the limits and labels and qualifiers usually have less to do with the quality of our lives and much more to do with trying to get it right. NEWSFLASH! Trying to get it right will simply keep you trying to get it right. There is no right. That seems the bill of goods we've been sold-- whether by families, corporate leaders (who really stand to realize a great profit from convincing us that we are our jobs), media venues, etc. The message seems to be that if we take the right steps, and meet the right people, and go through the right doors, then ......... Well, that's not always so. There might just be another door, condition, connection, etc. and sometimes we don't know what we're getting into once we've gone through it!

So life is best lived with your whole self in mind-- regardless of your job or label. Sometimes it behooves us to turn off the television and plug up our ears, so we can hear something other than what's pushed into us by the powers without. Get in touch with your own values and your own voice. Live from the inside out, not vice versa.

There is no more time than the time we have...

It's been a solid month since I've blogged. Busy with a new position at school and life. Growth wise, I'm starting to understand at deeper and deeper levels how much responsibility we have to take for our own lives. There is no getting around these facts:

- If we overload our calendars, we get rundown, and things around us don't run as smoothly as we'd like.
- We have to bite the bullet and make time for the aspects of life that we say are important to us, and let the lesser things fall by the wayside.
- The more we do the things we love-- the things that our souls crave, the more satisfied and at peace we feel in all aspects of life.
- The more we look at ourselves through the eyes of other people and judge ourselves according to what they think-- whomever they may be, the further we get from our own happiness.
- There is no more time than the time we have, so we must be mindful about how we use it.

This is what I LONG to do when I have a block of free time in front of me. Pens, paper, and nothing going on is absolutely thrilling, blissful-- more so than a party or a gathering, or a shopping spree, or just about anything that folks call fun. It's my passion.



Soooooo, for this month, I've done some real digging around in there. My cousin introduced me to this concept: "You've got to do you...." which is extremely important when it comes to making choices about how to use time. It might seem selfish sometimes, but the thing is, we spend a lot of time doing things that don't make any difference to anybody anyway. Our minds are filled with a load of shoulds that don't enhance anybody's life and actually harm ourselves.

So I'm not making any declarations, but I have been choosing to write more. I have also taken people out of my head-- those who I imagine might judge me, or get angry at me, or resent some aspect of my behavior. Why? Because I'm not in their heads, and I truly don't know what they're thinking.

All in all, this is making me feel freer and happier.

I'll keep you posted.

The unexpected realization about routines

I've been back at work for about a month, and this week I had a strange revelation. I feel better when I'm going to work. This surprised me because I had a home-based writing business for 10 years until I went back to teaching. And  teachers (at least most of us) really look forward to the summer break. We work hard, and it's no joke having to teach young people who are often only marginally interested in what we're bringing. So, we are ecstatic when we have a break from the grueling performances that we deliver for ten months out of the year. And God knows we need a rest.

So I had a busy summer-- lots of activity surrounding my book Salt in the Sugar Bowl. I had something of a schedule, but to be honest, there was an undertone of half-stepping. I now know that during long breaks, I can't seem to get as much momentum going, and I often asked myself where the time went at the end of the day. I made a habit of writing down on the calendar  what I did every day of vacation, so I wouldn't feel like my vacation was wasted. It worked. I did a LOT, but I didn't feel the sense of satisfaction I expected. I was actually satisfied with my two months away from work, and was ready to go back to school and dive into learning a new aspect of the job in a new position.

What I realized this week is that the routine of work makes my body happy. I have more energy, I feel stronger, and I have a sense of contentment at the end of the day. Strangely enough, I now realize that, as much as I dig vacation and being at home, I'm a worker bee. I like having my lunch packed up in my backpack, getting up and exercising, making my liquid meals and taking a fistful of supplements, and driving through the streets before the air stales. Huh! Who knew? This is some new factor thrown into the equation. My soul seems to love the discipline inherent in a routine. My body thrives on it!!!!

I am not saying that I wouldn't love to have the lifestyle of a full-time writer. I have a lot to say. I'd love nothing better than to spend hour after hour travelling into my psyche and expunging what-all my soul wants to get said. BUT strolling across the hall in my teeshirt and comfy pants doesn't actually cut it for me. I get a bit too loosey-goosey, too vegged out and foggy. Huh! So maybe my new fantasy will entail having my own office to drive to and write in everyday. But until that happens, I am happier than I realized with my juggling routine-- pushing myself to teach well, write often, cook healthily, exercise consistently, and do it all again the next day.

Remember to get your copy of Salt in the Sugar Bowl, a novella.

Find out why a mother leaves her six children and never looks back. How does such an event alter the lives of her adult children? Order today from www.mainstreetrag.com  or from www.amazon.com

Information that frees your soul

I might be redundant, but I'm getting happier. Writing the book and talking about some aspects of my life have made me more comfortable in the world. I'm coming to understand the kinds of things that are freeing me. These are some things I now understand:

- The things I'm afraid of usually aren't real. They are usually tied to some issue like abandonment or trust or questionable self esteem,
- The more you think of yourself, the more other people think of you because your energy is strong and clear, and the stronger and clearer you are, the less you drain others, so they like that feeling that you're not trying to suck anything from them.
- You don't have to be a team player. You just have to carve out a place for yourself that doesn't require a team. But you have to be proactive and find those places.
- Worry bogs you down and makes you old before your time.
- Being young isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Being energetic, inspired, healthy and reasonably sure that you're on the right path is all that AND a bag a chips.

So, cheers! Go for it! Free yourself!

Remember to order your copy of Salt in the Sugar Bowl. Find out why a mother leaves six children, and how they fare as they try to live and love as adults-- after their hearts have been wounded beyond repair. www.mainstreetrag.com